Navigating 2019: A Year of Profound Personal Growth, Business Evolution, and Embracing the Journey

Happy New Year, dear friends! It feels almost unbelievable that my first post of 2020 arrives a full two weeks into the new year. However, this timing reflects a period of intense planning and thoughtful preparation, as I truly wanted to return with content that resonates and makes an impact. Interestingly, this reflection post lands around the same date as last year’s – January 21st. If nothing else, my consistency in annual reflections is something I can count on! I hope you’ve come prepared with a cozy snack because we’re about to embark on an extensive journey down memory lane, reliving the vibrant experiences and transformative moments of 2019.

2019 – what an absolutely monumental year it was! When I cast my mind back, the phrase that immediately springs forward is my “building” year. Initially, my reflections, especially concerning the business aspect of my life, leaned towards the negative. There were moments of genuine frustration and self-doubt regarding growth. Yet, a powerful realization, inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert’s wisdom, brought me back to perspective: I, Jessica, am not a Fortune 500 company! I do not need to feel the immense pressure for every single year of my life to “outperform” the last in terms of business metrics alone. More profoundly, I understood the crucial distinction between myself and JITK (Jessica in the Kitchen). While I am an essential part of it, I am separate. As I mature, it becomes increasingly vital to distinguish my personal identity from my professional endeavor, preventing me from becoming completely consumed and lost within my work. This entire sentiment profoundly shaped my year. While business growth certainly occurred, it wasn’t the exponential surge witnessed in 2018, which, I admit, initially felt like a real setback. But personally? Oh, what a world of difference it made!

If you recall, my guiding word for 2019 was SEEK, and it truly became the overarching theme that directed my path throughout the year. And SEEK, I did. I truly embarked on a journey to deeply know Jessica, once and for all, embracing both the beautiful and challenging aspects of my authentic self, more profoundly than I ever had in my entire life. This quest began with an impulsive, yet incredibly significant decision on January 25, 2019, around 8 PM. Scissors in hand, I made the conscious choice to cut off all my processed hair, committing to my natural texture. This bold move was a pivotal moment, symbolizing my dedication to authenticity and self-discovery, setting the tone for a year of transformative change.

Indeed, 2019 proved to be a year brimming with adventures and novel situations. It began with a major life change: we moved houses just days before the new year officially dawned. Our new home is approximately twice the size of our previous one, and honestly, it required the entire year for me to fully adjust and feel settled! We still have unpacked boxes, especially after I unfortunately broke my leg (again), and countless photos awaiting their place on the walls, but I’ve learned to trust that everything will fall into place at its proper timing. Beyond the move, we harbored a strong desire to truly travel, and oh, did we travel! The entire summer was dedicated to exploring new horizons. More on our incredible journeys below, but suffice it to say, it was an exceptionally fulfilling year. So many incredible things unfolded! I found the structure I devised for my 2018 Reflections/Recap to be so effective and insightful, so I’m excited to replicate that format for this year’s reflection, diving into the details that truly defined 2019 for me.

Top 5 Business Accomplishments I am Most Proud Of

1. I went on several sponsored trips. For me, sponsored trips represent something profoundly significant. They are a powerful affirmation that a brand recognizes immense value in my unique platform and voice, deeming my work worthy enough to cover all expenses for a specific period to facilitate our collaboration. This isn’t just about visiting new places – which is, of course, a fantastic perk – it’s a tremendous confidence booster. It validates that my dedication and the content I create are achieving the recognition they deserve. This feeling of being truly valued makes me immensely proud and fuels my passion, much like my enjoyment in creating sponsored blog posts with brands I genuinely adore. After my inaugural sponsored trip to Israel in 2018, I was utterly shocked and incredibly excited to experience not one, but two such opportunities in 2019! One took us to beautiful Mexico, a country I hold dear to my heart, allowing my husband and me to celebrate yet another anniversary there amidst stunning scenery and vibrant culture. The second was an unprecedented opportunity in my own country, an experience that had never happened before! Being able to immerse myself in these experiences and, more importantly, share them authentically with all of you, filled me with an indescribable sense of accomplishment and pride.
2. Speaking at several schools & lecturing young people. As 2019 began, I felt an incredibly strong, almost undeniable urge to give back to my community. Specifically, I wanted to leverage my talents in a way that would directly benefit young people, providing guidance and inspiration. This sentiment formed almost word-for-word in my mind, and 2019 certainly delivered on that intention. Last year, I had the privilege of delivering more lectures and speeches at high schools and university events than in any other year of my life. In one particularly serendipitous instance, I wasn’t even aware the speech I was giving was school-centric, but it turned out the organizing company deliberately wanted young people to hear the perspectives and insights from all the speakers that year. Can you feel the Universe at work?! It felt profoundly good to engage with these students. To this day, I remain in contact with some of them, and the ability to inspire and guide them, sharing insights that might help them navigate their own life decisions, was an incredibly rewarding experience.
3. I collaborated with so many wonderful & talented creators. This quickly became one of my absolute favorite aspects of 2019! While I still have a lengthy list of incredible creatives I aspire to collaborate with in the future, last year truly provided the perfect opportunity to connect with some of my long-standing favorites. These collaborations spanned a fascinating array of projects: from contributing a guest post on my friend Jenne’s blog during her maternity leave, ensuring her audience remained engaged during her time away, to filming a video with Tasmin, a dedicated JITK reader who evolved into a cherished friend, and even photographing one of my friend’s amazing non-food products, challenging me creatively in an entirely new domain. These experiences allowed me to truly flex my creative muscles in ways I hadn’t before. Through these collaborations, I discovered several profound truths: firstly, I realized I’m a far more versatile photographer than I previously gave myself credit for; secondly, I no longer have to perceive this creative space as a solitary journey; and most importantly, I absolutely LOVE collaborating! Engaging with like-minded creators, whether they are in different niches or even the same one, is such an enriching and fun dimension of this business that I hadn’t fully tapped into. Now, I can confidently say that collaboration not only stimulates my creative mind but also opens doors to forging new friendships and strengthening existing ones, bringing an incredible sense of community and shared purpose.
4. I hit 5 Years of Jessica in the Kitchen. Five years! Wow, where did that time go? It’s almost surreal to think about. I must confess, I feel a touch of “sadness” to say I didn’t formally “celebrate” this significant five-year milestone. In fact, I completely missed the actual date because, honestly, we were having an absolute blast in Bali! So, in my mind, I was indeed celebrating life in the most vibrant way possible. To believe that this coming year will mark six years is truly a treat. I am incredibly proud of this blog and everything I’ve been able to achieve through it. It’s been a platform for touching countless lives, creating cherished memories, and, of course, inspiring so many delicious meals – oh my! The journey of JITK has been one of continuous learning, growth, and connection, and I am endlessly grateful for every moment.
5. Solving a major site problem and getting it fixed. This particular “accomplishment” carries a bittersweet note, directly linking back to my earlier reflections about not being a Fortune 500 company. To put a long story short, I received some truly detrimental advice from a professional that severely impacted my Google ranking and, crucially, my recipes’ structured data markup. The unfortunate consequence was that Google was not accurately recognizing my recipes as recipes, which, for a food blogger, is an incredibly damaging scenario. This issue significantly stalled the growth of JITK throughout the year, a difficult truth to acknowledge and type out. It’s a classic case of not knowing what you don’t know until it’s too late. Fortunately, I was able to hire a new expert to completely redo the coding from scratch, and I’m thrilled to report that the accurate implementation will be live very soon. I consider this a significant WIN because I identified the issue only a year after it began to undermine my ranking, rather than letting it fester for a decade. It was a hard hit, emotionally and financially, but it could have been far worse. More importantly, despite this technical hurdle, my recipes and posts continued to reach and positively impact so many of you, which truly matters most. The ironic truth about business errors is that you can exert your absolute hardest effort, and if you’re given bad advice, that’s simply what it is – bad advice. It’s not worth beating yourself up over. The real power lies in shifting your perspective to gratitude. This problem plagued me for a substantial part of the year, directly affecting my earnings and morale, but with each wave of frustration, I consciously tried to transform it into gratitude, and that mental shift genuinely helped me persevere.

https://www.instagram.com/p/ByZBMo_pqJm/

Top 5 Personal Growth Changes

1. I went natural! Oh my goodness, this was a massive step – I went natural! For those unfamiliar with the term, it signifies the momentous decision to cut off all chemically processed and straightened parts of my hair, thereby fully embracing and celebrating my natural hair texture. It had been since I was 13 years old (when I famously begged my mom for a “cream/relaxer” for my 14th birthday) that I last wore my hair natural, so I genuinely had no idea what to expect. Let me be clear, I loved the years I spent with processed hair; this isn’t to imply that it was a terrible choice or that natural hair is inherently “superior.” But for me, in that moment, it absolutely was the better path. I had longed to go natural even in college, but I was overwhelmed by fear! The reasons are deeply personal and have their own long history that I don’t have the space to delve into now, but the core fear was that it wouldn’t look “good” on me. I had only heard stories of how “hard” it was to manage and how it was often perceived as “unprofessional.” The societal pressures and self-doubt were immense, and man, was I scared. Yet, that persistent yearning grew stronger, year after year. I even began a transitioning process in 2018, constantly telling myself, “I want to do it now,” only to defer, “no, let’s wait a little longer.” Then, on that fateful night in 2019, scissors in hand, a towel draped around my neck, it was “snip snip!” All of it came off. The immediate feeling? SO – free. Truly, SO FREE. This bold action ignited a profound self-love journey unlike any other. While I’ll admit I’ve received predominantly positive feedback, the negative comments? Whew. They were brutal. But those harsh criticisms ultimately taught me a crucial lesson: I had to stop caring about what others thought and simply DO ME. Embracing my authentic self has empowered me to care for my natural locks with such dedication, ensuring they remain moisturized, healthy, and continue to grow beautifully.
2. I started back exercising. GUYS – I actually returned to the gym! I hadn’t maintained a consistent gym schedule since, once again, my college days (oh, law school, you really did reshape so many aspects of my life). My honest feedback on this change? Boy, does it feel good! I even completed a workout right before sitting down to write this very post. I achieved remarkable consistency with my workouts and adopting a lower-carb eating approach leading up to our incredible South East Asia trip. That trip, understandably, paused my consistency somewhat. Funny enough, I returned from our travels having actually lost weight, despite having consumed my weight in delicious carbs and vegan desserts (Bali, you truly were so good to me!). Since then, my routine has been a bit on-and-off, but crucially, I’ve never quit entirely. I was able to lose a remarkable 20 pounds (!) and drop several dress sizes, and most importantly – I regained a profound sense of CONFIDENCE and love for my body. I’ve even embraced weightlifting, which has become my absolute favorite part of my fitness regimen! I’ve genuinely rediscovered the joy of exercising and am fully committed to ensuring it remains a consistent part of my life throughout this year and, indeed, transforms into a lifelong habit.
3. I prioritised sleep. MAN, it feels incredibly satisfying to type this! Last year, I made an unwavering commitment to myself: no matter what time I went to bed, I would ensure I got a full 7-8 hours of sleep. If that meant going to bed at 4 AM, then I wouldn’t wake up before 11 AM! I am SO tired of structuring my life to accommodate the expectations of others who don’t pay my bills, don’t impact my business, and aren’t always supportive. It became unequivocally clear that I HAVE to live my life according to my own schedule and what truly serves my well-being. Sleep is paramount. SO important. I consistently found that I performed at my absolute peak after a full night of restorative sleep, and conversely, my performance suffered drastically on just 4-5 hours. It’s a vital realization: understand the precise amount of sleep your body and mind need, and then make it an uncompromisable priority.
4. I travelled the world! Ticking off 22 countries! Oh, the places we’ll go, and the places we went! Last year, I proudly tallied a total of 22 countries I’ve had the immense privilege of visiting throughout my entire life. While I’m not on a mission to tick off every country in the world, it’s still an incredibly cool fact to be able to state. I absolutely adore immersing myself in new cultures, embracing novel experiences, and even revisiting familiar countries to discover entirely new facets of them. The journey of exploration continues this year, with an eagerly anticipated trip to Japan (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am literally screaming with excitement just thinking about it!) and who knows where else our adventures might lead us! Travelling consistently nourishes my soul, broadens my perspective, and truly makes me feel alive and connected to the world.
5. Being way more comfortable being uncomfortable. This particular transformative change was insightfully pointed out to me by Gav, my husband. He observed how remarkably better I had become at embracing discomfort. Now, I’ve never been one to cling rigidly to my comfort zone, but I certainly used to experience a significant amount of anxiety when unforeseen circumstances arose, or when I couldn’t meticulously plan out every single detail from A to Z. In 2019, from navigating the complex blog issue and various other business challenges to almost missing our boat to Gili Air, uncomfortable situations became the absolute NORM. Yet, one by one, I confronted them, and with each hurdle overcome, they gradually became easier to manage. So much so that as we frantically raced to catch our boat to Gili Air, I found myself laughing. I had reached a profound realization by then: this is life. These unpredictable, challenging moments are precisely what make life real and vibrant. Many times, those uncomfortable situations serendipitously led to wonderful outcomes. Sometimes, they didn’t, and either way, I learned to accept it as okay. Every single time, without fail, these experiences taught me a new lesson or powerfully reinforced an old one, deepening my resilience and adaptability.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxBd2z4p3CR/

Top 2 Challenges I Faced

Breaking my leg – again. It’s actually quite hilarious to me now, in retrospect, that I’ve managed to break the same foot, in precisely the same place, twice in my life! Of course, it was anything but funny at the time, on either occasion. I’ve previously shared how this particular incident eventually saved my life (no, really, it truly did), so while it presented an immense physical and emotional challenge at that very moment, I can honestly say I’m glad it happened. It forced a pause and a recalibration that I profoundly needed.

Imposter syndrome. This insidious challenge once again reared its head, stemming directly from the recipe ranking issue and the technical errors that disrupted my recipe markup. I began to harbor some truly terrible and self-deprecating thoughts. How could I not have known this would be an issue? Am I even a competent business owner? Am I truly good at food blogging? These questions, combined with the fact that I didn’t produce as many videos or blog posts last year compared to previous years, led to a severe bout of imposter syndrome. It began to leak into every single area of my life. I found myself constantly asking Gav and my mom to review countless professional correspondences for me, so deeply had I convinced myself that I didn’t know what I was doing or how to articulate my thoughts effectively. Overcoming this required immense self-compassion, a conscious recognition that these feelings of being a “fake” were simply not accurate, and a firm internal affirmation that I AM successful. This internal shift was crucial in pushing me through the thick fog of imposter syndrome. So far in 2020, I’ve become remarkably adept at trusting my own instincts and acknowledging that I KNOW what I am doing, and then confidently acting on that intrinsic knowledge. It has become a powerful, daily affirmation for me – “I know what I am doing.”

Top Lesson Learned

The most profound lesson I learned in 2019, a truth that resonated deep within my core, is this: I, Jessica, am enough, just as I am, and I am more than my work. I truly grasped the fundamental importance of BEING, not solely DOING. Oh, friends, I am inherently a “doer.” In fact, I am such a relentless doer that I literally have to schedule days off, or they simply won’t happen. Many times, I experience a profound sense of angst and unease if I’m not actively “doing” something productive. All of this made so much sense after I discovered my enneagram number last year (I’m a 3). You see, the inherent issue with constantly “doing” is that I’ve always unconsciously felt like I was earning my worth and validating my existence in this world solely through my accomplishments. My innate drive pushes me to utilize all my talents, all the time, allowing just enough sleep to wake up and keep pushing forward, with the ultimate goal of leaving a true, indelible impact on the world. I want to make a difference. There is absolutely nothing inherently wrong with any of these aspirations; however, that mindset led me to a dangerous belief: if I wasn’t doing, I wasn’t contributing, which meant I wasn’t making an impact, which ultimately concluded that I wasn’t enough if I wasn’t doing. The simple act of sitting still, or merely relaxing, began to feel like a colossal waste of time, feeding into the harmful narrative that I wasn’t good enough by simply being who I am. This self-imposed pressure grew so severe that I found myself working throughout the majority of our incredible Bali trip, a decision I now profoundly regret.

Following that deeply felt regret, I began a conscious and deliberate journey to recognize the paramount importance of being. This meant embracing spontaneous days off, allowing myself to go for weeks – WEEKS! – during the holiday season without engaging in work tasks. I started to become more comfortable with simply “being.” I won’t pretend it’s an easy process; it’s far from it. Thoughts like, “Am I wasting time?! I’m almost 30!” still occasionally surface. But I’ve learned, especially as an Enneagram 3, that I desperately need to cultivate comfort in simply existing, in knowing that my worth extends far beyond my accomplishments and my work. It means delving into things I love that have absolutely nothing to do with blogging, photography, or making money. It’s about truly internalizing the truth that my family will love me unconditionally, regardless of my professional output. This has been a truly transformative lesson, one that I eagerly anticipate continuing to learn and integrate in new and profound ways, over and over again, throughout my life’s journey.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BzjoH7ep1e1/

2020 Thoughts, Word of the Year and Intentions

As I step into 2020, my primary intention is to establish robust and actionable systems and processes, not just for my business but for my entire life. While many friends might describe me as inherently “organized,” there are numerous instances where I feel I approach tasks far too unprepared or with inadequately thought-out plans. This year, I’ve embarked on a completely different trajectory. I already have months of engaging content meticulously planned and ready for execution, and Gav and I have collaboratively developed a far more efficient and effective content production system for the year ahead. This proactive approach has already yielded a significant positive impact, serving as a constant, gentle reminder: there is always a better, more streamlined way to achieve our goals.

Furthermore, I wholeheartedly plan to actively ask for and graciously allow for more help this year. It’s a difficult truth to admit, but I often get very caught up in the need to prove that I can “do it all myself,” a deeply ingrained tendency. Additionally, there are times when I inadvertently allow myself to feel as though I carry the immense burden of representation for all young, successful black women on my back. This manifests in a constant internal pressure to prove that yes, I too am educated, skilled, and capable – that I am the photographer, the videographer, and the editor – amidst the exhausting frequency of hearing questions like, “So your husband must take your photos, right?” I’ve let these doubtful questions and rude assumptions lead me to overburden myself, stubbornly refuse help, and resist sharing duties. What a monumental waste of precious time and energy! People will inevitably think what they want to think, and my ultimate responsibility is to always prioritize what is best for me, my mental sanity, and my business. This year, I will wholeheartedly allow myself to put my well-being first in that regard, in whatever form it manifests. My goodness, it would be an incredible relief to share some of that load; that’s for sure!

Word of the Year: LOVE

“In all things, do it with love” – 1 Corinthians 16:14. Towards the end of last year, the word “love” kept presenting itself to me, particularly in the context of extending love to others. My unwavering commitment for 2020 is to ensure that in every single action I undertake, in every decision I make, I am doing it with love. When the inclination to get angry arises, my conscious effort will be to pause and reflect, asking myself, “How can I approach this situation with love?” This isn’t about dismissing valid emotions or suppressing genuine feelings; rather, for me, it’s about embodying one of my deepest core values in the most authentic and impactful way possible. This simple yet profound intention has already provided me with so much assistance, especially in improving my communication. It encourages me to breathe deeply first, to step away if I feel upset or overwhelmed, and then to return to the situation with a clear perspective rooted in love and compassion. I am filled with immense excitement and anticipation for how this powerful word will guide and shape my year, illuminating every path I choose to walk.

That’s IT, my amazing friends!! How was your 2019? I would absolutely love to hear your reflections and experiences. Please feel free to share them in the comments section below, or even reach out via email! I’m genuinely wishing you the absolute BEST year yet, filled with growth, joy, and countless blessings.